disgusting, fat people, improvement, matchups, rulon gardener, Uncategorized

private fatbody, reporting for duty sir.

Have you ever thought about the super obese, and how they got there?  When you’ve been trapped in your bed for the last six years, weighing 790 lbs, I imagine your universe is tiny.  It consists of your feeding room, and the people keeping you alive.  Literally, it’s a giant waste of potential.  Scientifically, it’s a huge furnace of a body, pumping in calories.  Like a sun made of fat, pulling people and things into its orbit.

For me, two questions arise:  How did this happen to these folks?  And can it happen to me?  If you can arrive at the first answer, it will lead you to the second.

Suppose you are a man of falstaffian appetites, but tempered by excercise.  What happens if you get hurt, and you can’t exercise?  A life time habit of overconsumption doesn’t just dissappear overnight.  So you keep eating how you ate.  Next thing you know, you’re fifty pounds in the hole, and pre diabetic.  The slope only gets more slippery. 

Some people live paycheck to paycheck, standing on the edge of a cliff.  All it takes is one disaster to push you over that edge, and you’re out on the street.  For some, it is the same with their health and waistline.  One injury or disaster, and three years later you’ve gone too seed.  As the pounds pack on, you get stuck in a feedback loop.  Too fat to exercise.  And getting fatter.  Along with the attendent health problems of the obese compounding the interest.  In my head it just seems so easy.

So can it happen to me?  Terrifyingly, yes it can.  Now, I’m sure that my wife and my general sense of fitness would never let me into the say, 500+ club, but I can see myself in the year 2025, stepping out of my hover car, in my size xxxxl radiation cloak.  Weighing 425lbs and rocking diabetic hosery.  All because of some knee injury and a refusal to change my eating habits.

And I’ll tell you what.  I was just in big and tall shop, and I refuse to wear those clothes.  I got to stay fresh, y’all.

I guess I wrote this to verbalize my fears.  To put a road map up to becoming morbidly obese, and then take a giant red pen to it, scrawing “NO” across it. 

But on the other hand, being really fat could get me on tv…so its a toss up.


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